Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
