i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
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I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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