and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
