IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
