just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
