god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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