I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
