either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
