wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize