After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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