Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
