I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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