I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
