I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
