Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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