And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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