this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
