I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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