Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
In America we eat man semen.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
