somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
