Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
