Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
