allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
