I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
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After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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