He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
