Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
