The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize