HIV tests are more positive than that guy
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
