Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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