Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
