im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize