Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
