Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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