I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
