Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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