I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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