This girl is more easily done than said...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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