Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
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I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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