Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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