every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
