Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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