Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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