ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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