I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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