OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
