i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
