he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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