shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
