i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
