so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
