he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
