I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
