I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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