I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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