Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
