get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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