You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there's paper in my vomit.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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