I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We have started to decorate penises.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
