I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
NoShamevember. You game?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
